Title: A Night With Murphy Author: mimic117 Email: mimic1172@gmail.com Rating: Whispers Of X challenge, so it's smut Spoilers: couple of minor ones - up through Detour, mainly Keywords: smut, first time story, PWP, out-of-character experience Summary: Murphy always said if something can go wrong, it will. Disclaimer: I don't own them, although I did wish on a shooting star once. Just goes to show how reliable *they* are. To the people who hold the rights to these wonderful characters - shame on you for not letting them have fun! Treat yourselves - I know I would, if I were you. Archive: Whispers Of X gets first dibs since this was their perverted idea originally. Anyone else who'd like it can have sloppy seconds, but let me know where so I can gloat. Author's Notes: Apologies to any betas who were harmed in the writing of this fic, especially my college kid who was seriously traumatized by his mother's mind. Sorry about that, dear. I told you not to read over my shoulder. Co-Author Credit: To Sherri, for her tremendous help with the dialog. Such pearls of eloquence should never be wasted. ~snicker~ Feedback: Kept in a little shrine and worshipped daily. Really. I'm not kidding. Challenge parameters are listed at the end. A Night With Murphy by mimic117 Byde-A-Wee Motel 11:45 PM *thump* "Come on, Scully! This is not my fault. Slamming the door in my face isn't gonna help, you know." "Maybe not, but it makes me feel better. I don't mind having to share a room with you, Mulder, but I expected there to at least be two beds!" "Well, I'm sure the clerk's offer to let you shack up with him is still open. Of course, he won't be much use to anyone after the glare you sent him shriveled his testicles into raisins." "You mean this glare, Mulder?" "Ouch! Look, it's not like the bed is a twin. I'm pretty skinny, and you don't take up much space. I should think we could share a queen-sized bed without even touching each other if we didn't want to." "What do you mean by 'if we didn't want to'?" "Nothing! I didn't mean anything. Look, Scully, it's late. We're hot, tired, and soaking wet. Let's just kick on the air, grab a shower, and get some sleep. We'll both feel better in the morning." "I'd feel better if I wasn't going to be sharing a bed with a sweaty male body. And I'd feel even better if this rain would let up so we could get where we're supposed to be, which isn't this flea trap. But I'd feel a *damn sight* better if you'd quit making so much noise. Mulder, what the hell is with all the banging?" "Umm, sorry, Scully. It appears the air conditioner needs a little persuading. Why don't you shower while I bring my skills as a trained investigator to bear on the cold air problem? Wait, I got it." "The luggage is still in the car, which is parked out in the downpour." "Oh. Right. I'll uh... Be right back, Scully." *slam* *slam* "Mulder, you're dripping all over my suitcase." "Sorry about that. Here you go. Um, Scully? Mind if I grab the bathroom for a minute? Three cups of coffee in the last hour and all that rain..." "Go ahead, Mulder. Once I'm in there, I'm not planning to come out until my temperature drops at least ten degrees, so seize the opportunity while you can." "Thanks!" *thud creeeaak* "Mulder! Shut the door! I'm not in a voyeuristic mood right now." "I did shut it. *thud creeeaak* Damn! The latch is broken. I don't think it's gonna stay closed unless it's propped shut." "Fine. Whatever. I'll cover my sensitive ears and turn my back until you're done. Just hurry up so I can get in the shower and cool off." "Does that mean you'll want to watch at some other point in the future?" "What did you say, Mulder? I had my fingers in my ears." "I said the bathroom is all yours, Scully. Shove something against the door to keep it closed or I'm selling admission tickets to finance the vending machine snacks." "Get me something to drink when you go." "What makes you think I'm going back out in... You've got that glare down to a positive art, Agent Scully. Soda, Snapple, or Yoohoo?" "Whatever it is, it'd better be ice cold." *slam* *thud creeeaak thump* "Ahhh, cool water. At least the shower is working, which certainly surprises the hell out of me." *slam* "That didn't take long, Mulder." "There wasn't exactly a dizzying selection available. I got some bottles of juice that look like they've been there since the Carter administration. At least they should be well chilled by now." *creeeaak* "You're dripping on the floor again." "It's still pouring buckets out there. Maybe we should start gathering the animals. How big's a cubit?" "Go take a shower, Mulder." "Why? I'm already soaked to the skin. These slacks probably don't leave much to the imagination by now." "Your mystery is safe with me. Been there, seen it, didn't bother with the t-shirt. Now go shower so I don't have to sleep with someone who smells like a wet dog." "You're a cruel, heartless woman." "Wait a minute. Mulder, why isn't the air conditioner running?" "I had it going when I went on the juice run... *bang crash bang* I think it's gone to the great freon zone in the sky, Scully. Should I call the front desk and let them know?" "Forget it, Mulder. They won't be able to fix it at this hour. It's just what I would have expected anyway." "How about if I open the window?" "And let all that humid air in? The room would be damper than it already is. Just go take a shower before that decides to crap out on us, too." "What did you use to keep the door shut?" "One of your running shoes. It's certainly big enough to be a doorstop." "Ha ha." *thud creeeaak thump* "Scully..." "What Mulder? Ooph! Stupid juice bottle... Open already!" "Was there hot water when you showered?" "Yeah, it was fine. Why?" "Cause now there's only cold. How long were you in here?" "Not very long. And I hardly used any hot water. Damn this thing! Why won't it open? Just take a quick cold shower. At least it will help you to cool off." "I haven't worked up a good reason for needing a cold shower yet." "Mulder, I can't hear you when you mumble." "I said I'll be right out." "Oh. Okay. Shit! Now I've broken a nail! What is wrong with this bottle?" *creeeaak* "Need some help with that, Scully?" "No. Yes. I can't get the damn top off this juice bottle." "Let me try." "Jesus, Mulder! Could you have found a smaller towel to wear?!" "This was the biggest one left. You used the only one larger than a hanky. You want me to get dressed or open your juice bottle first?" "Get dressed. I didn't want the damn juice anyway. I'm going to bed." *squeeawwk* "Ack! Mulder, what was that?" "It sounded like you sat on something." "Oh, look... There's a teddy bear stuck under the mattress." "I don't know what bothers me more - the fact that housekeeping missed it, or that some poor child was staying in this run-down excuse for a motel." *FLASH rummble BOOOM* "Perfect. Just what we needed. A thunderstorm." "Look on the bright side, Scully. At least we don't have to worry about the air conditioner quitting if the power goes out." "Thank you, Agent Pollyanna. That makes me feel much better. Would you please get dressed for bed so we can go to sleep? I just want this day to be over." "I'm really sorry things turned out so badly, Scully. Why don't you take the bed? I'll be fine on the floor." "Mulder, you can't sleep on the floor." "Sure I can. It's no worse than sleeping on the ground in the woods." "That was because there was no other choice. You're not wounded, the bed is big enough for two, and who knows what disgusting substances have been allowed to bond with the carpet? Things will be fine if we keep to our own side." "But regulations specifically state that agents should not consort in a biblical fashion when on assignment. A very good rule, I might add. Those small annoyances in a close relationship can become dangerous when they involve two armed people." "Who said anything about consorting? I'm talking about putting two bodies in one bed instead of leaving you to get stiff laying on the floor." "I'm gonna end up stiff no matter where I am tonight." *FLASHBOOOM* "I didn't catch that last statement, Mulder." "Never mind, Scully. Just move over and don't hog the blankets." *smack* "OW! Mulder, what the hell are you doing?!" "I didn't do anything! I just laid down and rolled to the middle of the bed. I think the mattress is warped." "Well, roll back to your own side. Damn, I think I've got a lump on my forehead." "You're not the only one, you know. How are we supposed to sleep if we have to clutch the edge of the bed to keep from rolling into the center?" "We'll have to lay in the middle with our backs together. Just don't roll over during the night. I don't want to suffocate between you and the dip in the mattress." "Thanks for that lovely mental picture, Scully. I'll be lucky if I can fall asleep at all, now." "Turn off the light, Mulder. The sooner we get to sleep, the faster it can be tomorrow." *BOOOOOM* *flicker fizzz* "I think Mother Nature just took care of it." "Shut up, Mulder." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Byde-A-Wee Motel 3:27 AM "Umph... Mmmm... Wha...? Scully... Scully, what are you doing? Wake up. Hey, Scully, wake up." "Hmmm? Huh? Muller, I was havin' such a nice dream. Why'dya wake me?" "Because your dream was turning into a re-enactment. Not that I'm complaining, you understand." "Wha's I doin'?" "You hit me with a world class lip lock. I was afraid you were gonna suck out my tonsils. Otherwise I wouldn't have interfered." "Mu'der, tha's not what I think's pokin' me in the leg - is it?" "Um, sorry, Scully. Basic male biological reaction and all that. I'll scoot to the edge of the mattress." "No, tha's okay. You don' hafta move. Mmmmm..." "Ummmph... Scully... Uummm... What are... Scully, quit that! Wait a minute!" "But I wanna kiss you, Muller. Don't you wanna get kissed?" "Yeah I'd like to get kissed. But first I'd like you to wake up all the way and make a conscious decision about what - Ummmph!" "Mmmm... Too much talking. More kissin'." "Scully, stop! Moving our relationship forward is a big step, personally and professionally, and we can't just - leave my shorts alone! - we can't just jump into something like this without some thought as to what it will dooooo... God, that feels so good... Ohhh, damn that's nice..." "You think too much, G-man. Time to feel instead." "Yeah... I feel that alright. Scully, are you sure you want to do this? You're half asleep. I don't want to take advantage - Ohhh..." "I'm awake enough to know what I want. You like that, don't you?" ~groan~ "I didn't know they taught that in medical school. Of course I like it, Scully. But I don't understand what you want from me." "It's simple, Mulder. I want you to fuck me." ~cough cough wheeze~ "That must have been some dream! I thought you were angry with me." "I was. But I'm not mad now. I'm horny and tired of never getting any. How long have we been partners, Mulder?" "Long enough to know the regulations." "Aren't you sick of suppressing your libido just because J. Edgar couldn't get any nooky one day and decided to make us suffer, too?" "Of course I am. I've had enough cold showers and spanking the monkey to last me a few decades. But why now?" "This whole day sucked, from the constant rain, to the broken air conditioner, to the single bed with the Grand Canyon mattress. I was sitting on the ragged edge of defiance all day, and I think that dream just pushed me over." "That's not a very good reason for a comfort fuck, Scully." "Don't pout, Mulder. You know that's not what I want. I want your love. ~kiss~ We love each other. I know it and so do you. I'm just tired of pretending we don't." ~kiss~ "Me too. ~kiss~ I've wanted you for such a long time. I just wasn't sure how to go about taking such a big step." "Ohhh... That's a good way to start." "Thought you might like that. How about this?" "God! I always knew those long fingers would come in handy someday. Yeah... right there... why are you stopping?!" "Clothes. Off. Now." "Rather impatient, aren't you?" ~moan~ "Better stop doing that if you want it to last... We've wasted so much time, Scully. I don't think I can wait too much longer." *rustle rustle squeak squawk* "Roll over, Mulder. I want to be on top so I can see your face when I make you scream." "Now *you're* rushing, Scully. I wanted to spend time kissing and touching your beautiful skin." "Touch all you want. Just plan on a moving target. Slow and sweet can wait for next time." "God, I'm so glad there's going to be a next tiii... Shit, you feel so good! So tight and hot and wet and I don't think this is gonna last too long..." "I know, I know... I feel so full. You're so hot, and hard... Touch my breasts, Mulder. I want your hands on me." ~gasp~ "I'm so close. I don't want to come yet, but I'm too close..." "Me too. I'm almost there. God, I can't believe what you're doing to me... Your prick feels so damn good..." "Oh hell... oh shit... Rub your clit, Scully. Come for me. Please." "Ah... Ah... Yeah... Ohhhh... Mulder! Oh god, I'm coming! Yes! Ohhh..." "I'm coming, Scully... Love you, love you... Damn... So good..." ~pant pant pant kiss~ *rustle rustle* ~sigh kiss kiss kiss sigh~ *rustle squawk rustle* "Here, Scully." "Why are you handing me your tshirt?" "Do you want to sleep in a wet spot? I don't." *flash rummble* "Where are you going, Mulder?" "Just checking on the weather conditions. I want to be able to leave here first thing in the morning." "I don't. I love this motel." "What?! I thought you hated this place." "Not anymore. I think this is the nicest flea trap motel in the world and I hope we never have to leave. What's it like outside?" "Looks like another storm is headed this way. You should see the tree by the motel office, Scully. It must have been hit by the lightning bolt that took out the power. Now it's mostly a pile of kindling with the silhouette of Elvis' face in the stump." "Shut up, Mulder, and come back to bed." "Did you know it turns me on when you get bossy?" *bounce CRASH* "MULDER! You broke the bed!" The End Thanks: To the Chi-Meet gang of marauders - Concordia will eventually recover. It seems like only yesterday. Oh, that's right - it was! Especially to Jacquie, Jay, Rita, and Karen - for friendship and stimulating conversations I will never be able to repeat to *anyone*. I miss you already. Challenge parameters: One bed for the night A stuffed animal A bottle of any drink - that won't open A really odd looking tree Mulder quoting rules that shouldn't be broken - and agreeing with them A broken air conditioner A door that won't stay closed Smut - of course Thanks for tickling my muse, Jamie. Oooh, naughty naughty... All feedback on this or any of my stories, or any of your stories, or any story at all, can be sent to mimic1172@gmail.com, and will be answered in the order in which it was received.